I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We left an ass print on the piano.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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