i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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