just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There r osticjed everywhere
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
