in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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