i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
