I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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