Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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