it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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