...so i touched it.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
