Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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