She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
