week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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