my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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