i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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