I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
