I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
