And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
