hotel room ftw
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
