How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
