there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize