We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize