i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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