I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
