Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
