evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
