My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
