I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
This couple is walking their pig around campus
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
