i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
