Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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