In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
