I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
