lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
