Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
