"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
