Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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