took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
handjob tips. give me some.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize