did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The power of my boobs compel you
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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