she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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