I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This baby is an asshole
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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