It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
