Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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