what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
