Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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