We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize