how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
