what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
