i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
