just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
