You smell like stripper and shame
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
