No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
