the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
