feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
