Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
