I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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