In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
