Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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