That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
