He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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