Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Randomize