you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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