so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
