I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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