And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
