apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
