Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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