Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
