new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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