I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize