If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize