Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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