I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
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