i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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